Monday, May 3, 2010

Oh, Larry David!

My husband's nickname for me is "Stealth." It's ironic because I am absolutely, 100% incompetent at lying, acting, sneaking or otherwise engaging in subterfuge of any kind. You CAN read my, can read my, you can read my poker face, poker face. I'm crap at cards and usually I avoid high jinx at all costs. However ...

The other day, I was walking home from town when my cell phone rang. It was a very mischievous friend of mine calling to warn me that she had just passed me (in her car) and that walking in my direction was a person I'd rather avoid. What to do? What to do? A meeting was inevitable because there was no alternate route.

Just in time, I remembered my cell phone - epiphany! - and put it to my ear, pretending to chat to an imaginery friend. Now a more seasoned liar would probably have called their own voicemail which would have prevented what happened next: Just at the very second I am passing this person and smiling a polite "hello" (home free!) my phone rang. AWKWARD! So I did the mature thing. I mumbled some version of, "Wellthat'sweirdhowdidthathappen" and ran away.

George Costanza, eat your heart out.

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