Bananagate

We’re having some work done on our house. Joe, our carpenter/contractor, is someone I know fairly well and trust. And he’s got good people working for him. This is not the first project we have undertaken at this house, so I’m pretty familiar with Joe’s crew (although not familiar enough to ask whether Sixtoe is the man’s real name or… yeah, that’s why I haven’t asked).

This job involves the basement bathroom. At present there is no toilet in that bathroom so, of course, if the guy who is working down there needs to use the bathroom he’s got to come upstairs. It would be nice if he put the seat down when he was finished, but… whatever, maybe he’s just trying to remind me that he’s using the bathroom too. I’m a little messy.

Now, at some point in the past, a whole crew was doing outside work in the heat of summer and I said that they should feel free to grab drinks from the garage fridge whenever. ‘Whenever’ now includes “to go with whatever lunch you’ve brought from home.” Okay, fine. I made the offer and I stand by it. It would be nice if the empty bottles made it into the recycling bin, but… no biggie.

Here’s where it gets sticky. I went to grab a banana. I had just been to the store and had bought some green bananas knowing that I had one nice yellow one at home. But the ripe banana was nowhere to be found. Was I wrong? Had I already used the ripe banana? Or… No. Impossible. The guy working on my bathroom couldn’t have actually helped himself to a banana off my counter. He couldn’t have, right?

What a pickle. I mean, I would never have denied him a banana. I don’t actually care about the banana. But it just made me feel a little icky. I’m not here all day. What else is he helping himself to?

And then today I came home and he’s having his lunch at my kitchen table with one of my husband’s Diet Sunkists. When I came in he just kept on reading his magazine (or was it mine?!). Make yourself at home, dude. That’s weird, right? I felt so uncomfortable I had to leave. The topper: I turned on the TV tonight and it was on Telemundo. I think I have a problem establishing boundaries. I know this guy does.