Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Stress-O-Matic

Got some problems weighing you down?
Looking for something to take your mind off your worries?

We've got your solution right here!

Hi, Billy Mays here, from the afterlife, with the perfect cure for your midlife navel-gazing and medical mini-dramas: Vacation!

But Billy, you say, won't vacation just leave me with hours to stare out at the sea and think? How, you ask, will that help?

Well, we're not talking about any old vacation, folks. No sir. How about we throw in a little earthquake? Distracted yet?

Well, hold on to your hats, because I'm going to blow you away! And I mean literally-- with winds at up to 100 miles per hour! That's right, your vacation includes a mandatory evacuation AND a hurricane that will follow you home.

And, if you act now, we'll throw in downed phone lines and a stream running through your basement.

Don't delay. Operators are standing by....

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